'Not wanted' list

A reminder of those people who should never have been allowed back into public life but unaccountably were:

Priti Patel

The Hindu secretary of state for international development went on a sneaky trip to Israel, organised by the Conservative Friends of Israel. She met lots of important Israelis but forgot to meet any Muslims. Whoops - resignation! A year later she was back as home secretary. Where she broke the ministerial code by bullying staff, one of whom, Sir Philip Rutnam, was paid £340,000 to forget all about it. Boris Johnson thought bullying was OK in this particular instance, although of course in most other cases he thinks it's absolutely unacceptable.

Cressida Dick

Gave the order to shoot an innocent man in front of Tube passengers. Tant pis! Career unaffected, she is now the country's most senior officer.

Dominic Cummings

Cominic Dummings contrived single-handedly to destroy a very effective lockdown with a deliberately pisstaking story about bundling his family into the car for a high-stakes eye test. As long as they didn't all die when he crashed into a tree, he must be safe to drive, despite having Covid. It took eight months before he got his marching orders (thanks, Carrie) but he will undoubtedly be back. That type of supernaturally bumptious and inflated tit always is. And it won't be to return the £400m of our money he spent on a rusty old tin can in space.

Rebecca Long Bailey or Long-Bailey

Someone who doesn't even know if they have a hyphen in their own name should not be let anywhere near the toaster, let alone the Labour front bench.

Liam Fox

I still haven't received a satisfactory explanation of why Adam Werritty travelled the world on the QT and definitely not at his own expense with Liam "Dr Fox" Fox, a man 17 years his senior and, at the time, defence secretary. Have you? Or of why Werritty repeatedly contrived to attend meetings in the MoD despite having no security clearance. I think I know, though. Following the time-honoured tradition, Fox resigned in 2011 and waited just five years before he was back as Theresa May's international development minister. Why did the mostly upstanding May appoint him? Perhaps she felt sorry for him after his ludicrous party leadership bid against her. He was sacked when Boris Johnson took over, thank God ... but what's this? In 2020 Britain put him forward for the director-generalship of the World Trade Organisation. He didn't get it, obvs, but how was this creepy buffoon allowed anywhere near a position of global influence? Watch out: he's apparently plotting yet another political incursion. For Fox sake, can't this clown just crawl back under his dank, smelly rock and this time stay there?