Godzilla goes south

Well, we warned you. We think this is the real inspiration for Godzilla Vs Kong ...

Alexander Skarsgard and Rebecca Hall do a sterling job of delivering lines such as "Kong bows to no one" and "That’s RoboGodzilla. No. That’s … that’s MechaGodzilla" without corpsing. But the films belongs to the kids — Millie Bobby Brown and her geek sidekick — and the avuncular black man who is trying but failing to look after them. That character has the film's best line, delivered when he finds the evil villain's lair, complete with a lab for harnessing primordial energy extracted from a world within our world to create ... wait for it ... MechaStreisand. I mean MechaGodzilla. "If this wasn't contributing to world destruction, this would be a great DJ booth," remarks the Chef character, who is even named Bernie Hayes, surely a tribute to Isaac, the voice of Chef.

As if you hadn't guessed, the first successful blockbuster of the post-Covid world is clearly based on an episode of South Park. It's the 12th episode of series one, if you want to look it up or, even better, rewatch it. In fact, why not read the script, so I don't have to point out the countless undeniable intertextualities? What I will say, briefly, is that in this scenario Kong and Godzilla are Cartman and Kyle, who are fighting over the Triangle of Zinthar, an elemental power source, until the terrifying MechaStreisand is inadvertently unleashed. Ike is the little girl who communicates with Kong. Millie Bobby and the nerd are Stan and Pip (there isn't a Kenny in this setup).

All that's missing is Robert Smith as the giant Mothra-type beast that dispatches MechaStreisand. Maybe they'll remember to put him in the next MonsterVerse instalment.

Sorry about the spoilers.